#rest in peace yuzu

[patty-propaganda-archive]

I have played just a bit of Astral Chain, and GOD does that game made my 'Hunter Patty with demon summons' thoughts come back with a force.

That game has basically the perfect setup/structure to insert her in and make Patty a formidable opponent, while also keeping her, you know, grounded and human. So I propose a shameless ripoff of gameplay mechanics and themes for her in a DMC-universe.

(these rambles are sponsored by my maybe two hours playtime of Astral Chain)

A quick intro about Astral Chain - it's a Platinum game that is set in a sci-fi universe which basically demons invade. Humans set up a special forces division that mixes some captured via Chains demons with human material, and the result are Legions that get paired with an operative and they work together.

Important note here is that the chained demons are exactly that - chained, and they aren't really happy with their predicament, so they try to escape if they aren't controlled properly. That said, they aren't mindless either, and can operate on their own, but are normally tightly ordered around and kept on a strong leash.

I think this setup in itself is very interesting - the humans are trying to fight fire with fire, while fully aware said flame might turn on them if used too freely.

Another thing I'd like to highlight is feel of combat in Astral Chain. The characters fight demons with guns and batons, which, well, doesn't exactly do much damage. The main damage dealer in this equation is, of course, the Legion under the human command.

You can do the normal button-mashy 'attack unless dodge then attack again', but really, in this game it feels like it pays to play Smarter, not Harder. The chain that binds demons is very physical, and with proper Legion positioning you can trip charging enemies or bind them in place for a time. This translates to me that the key is getting the upper hand in a fight, and no 'power level' or some other imaginary number will truly decide the outcome.

Last thing - the main character of the game is a sort of police officer, and they get a lot of requests to help civilians around. Even while on a big demon hunt, the priority for them is protecting humans, and getting to the big bad only after they are secure.

Why I think all of this works Perfectly Well for Patty:

The main premise of 'fighting fire with fire' is something the Order demonstrated quite well in DMC. They went so far in their studies as to develop stable technology based on demonic, and relatively safe enough for human use!

That said, Patty is no martial fighter. She is a human, and she physically cannot compete with demons, even easier ones. She needs as edge in a fight - this is where the idea of playing Smarter comes in.

I have been advocating for Patty getting a summons-based combat style, based of V(ergil) in dmc5, for a while now. I'll keep the design stuff under wraps, but I think that turning the demonic against demons seems very much up Patty's alley. Especially given her sourceress heritage, which, to be fair, we have no idea if it does anything, but hey, why not an ability to bind some demons to herself right? Or well, maybe some new demon-based tech helps her do that, but the technicalities don't really matter.

Plus, DMC demons already Do have a 'binding' ritual of sorts - the Devil Arms. Humans certainly can't wield those, so that's out of the question, but a simpler demon? Bound for a time even maybe? Not a bad substitute.

So, Patty gets herself a gun for long range, something close-range (rapier) for self-defence, and acquires a demon binded for herself.

Another idea I read a few times was Patty trying to get herself a position...close to the demon-hunting, but not the task itself, as she's not suited for continuous fighting. Something more about helping people, organising them and other supportive roles for when invasions happen.

Needless to say, I think that after how Dante disappeared on her, Patty would want to keep a Very Close ear to the ground about demons. She wouldn't be able to just stand aside either, so I think she'd volunteer to help there and then keep it up.

Having an ability to Bind demons would be a valuable ability in this situation, as her main focus would be on helping and defending civilians, instead of mowing down hordes on her own.

This can be up for debate, but I think the idea of demon binding being situational is more useful than getting a single demon bound permanently. Permanent binding would probably be harder to keep up, mostly in terms of mental/magical(?) effort, and I don't think Patty really needs that ability on all times. A spontaneous binding of a single demon out of the attack group though? More sudden, adaptable and, depending on the power of the demon chosen for binding - more cost-efficient, or at least you save up on the cost outside of fighting.

Another option is a 'pokemon' situation, when the binding requires energy only for the initial bind, but the upkeep is cost-free. So, she needs to change demons only when the bound one is too weak to fight anymore. Though I don't think that fits the other dmc demons rules, and the situational bind situation is better.

tldr Astral Chain gave me the perfect vision of Hunter-Patty, which is pretty much a ripoff of abilities from that game. It fits Patty very very well in my opinion though

So yeah, Astral Chain basically gave me a fully-realised Hunter-Patty fantasy, and I really love this mix of ideas for her. The game itself is also very fun, and I highly recommend everyone tries it out, if you can (curse you nintendo for holding it hostage). Thank you for reading this ramble)

[asukaskerian]

tagged by @voxofthevoid

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics  and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and  share anyway.

oh man. in the early homestuck days this wound have meant ten ficlets and oneshots from the last month only. XD i slowed down so much. also does “most recent” mean most recently written on or most recently started or most recently published? because those are really not the same. 

1.  Howling Outside Your Door

There's a barrier around the house, but it's not made to stop an Espada.

It's more of a notice-me-not, he thinks, pressing his bloody hand to it -- leaning too hard into it when his knee buckles under Yylfordt's negligible weight. It bows under the push of his hand and then lets him slide through up to the elbow; the spiritual pressure it's holding back rushes in prickles of heat against his palm.

It's made to hide Kurosaki's resting place from prowling hollows.

Yeah. Yeah, that's... Real close to perfect.

If. Perfect, if.

2.  Days on a wire

"Madara. Thank you for coming."

Madara planned on taking it to his grave, but he had once or twice, on maudlin evenings, indulged in wondering how it would go if he and his estranged childhood friend got to meet at the river again. How Hashirama's voice would sound (overjoyed, surprised, annoyingly casual?), how much he would babble, how ridiculous he would act.

That quiet, reserved tone hadn't featured in any of it.

3.  What Brings Us Together

Madara had to admit it: he had assumed the daimyo would never have the guts.

4.  match & mix

"And as a mark of new alliance and the forging of bonds of brotherhood, let us now become one in truth."

Tobirama has been braced for this for weeks. Has worked on his feelings and his convictions and his memories, meditating and reframing and just, reminding himself. He is as calm and accepting as he can possibly be in the situation.

Which isn't very, but hopefully, it will suffice.

5.  black irises in the sunshine

Uchiha Madara is twenty-one the first time an attempt to steal his bloodline succeeds.

6.  The Thirteenth Hour

The moon was high but waning, a crescent too thin to outshine the stars.

7.  superhero love triangle

"You're late, Brother!"

Yuzu emerged from the darkness with ladle in hand. Ichigo yelled, in a manly fashion.

8.  Idiots Of Unusual Size

Madara’s daemon settled early.

9.  A Beast Is in the Heart

"Jaegerjaquez, where are you?"

Yawning into the phone, Grimmjow looked around himself pointedly, though there would be no way for Tousen to know it. The guy seemed to divine disrespect no matter what shape it came in; it worked for Grimmjow. Offense that still came with plausible deniability. Good enough.

"No idea. Why don't you ask Suzy?"

10. suburban ot4 (unposted)

This is how it starts: Ichigo is standing at the school gate, watching his last class of the day pour out past him. Twelve year old kids are brats, but fun too, and a lot of them wave goodbye at him. It's a contented day, satisfying and warm. A pleasantly mundane peace.

Then there's a snort to the side -- derisive, hostile. "Fucking figures."

He turns, and past the flow of carelessly happy kids there's a face he saw twice in his life and never managed to forget.

i tag... @adiduck @edenfalling @rollerskatinglizard @codedredalert​ @joisbishmyoga​  and whoever else feels like it. u.u

[opscurus]

CHARACTER INTERVIEW.

▌real name: ( Ichigo Kurosaki )

▌single or taken:  ( Taken by @aegisdux ​ in my main au verse // other au verse partners include, but are not limited to: @wild-pineapple-butt // @we-are--the-hearts (ginjo & kokuto) @glacies-tempestatem ​// @eternalidealist​ )

▌abilities or powers:  ( ANOMALY -- shared powers from both parents and the Hollow that attacked his mother ;; ie. Substitute Shinigami, Hollow, Visored, Fullbringer, Qunicy )

▌eye colour:  ( Brown / Black and Yellow when Hollowfied )

▌hair colour:  ( Orange )

▌family members:  ( His sisters, Karin & Yuzu (alive) | Both parents , Masaki & Isshin (dead) in my main AU verse | His cousins, Kukaku, & Ganju (alive) )

▌pets:  ( Kon is a pet )

▌something they don’t like:  ( Strawberries; he’s allergic )

▌hobbies / activities:  ( He used to read manga a lot. Now he meditates and takes frequent naps when his body even allows it )

▌ever hurt anyone before:  ( Both feelings and physical bodies )

▌ever killed anyone before:  ( Many Hollows, some Shinigami & Espada, his father )

▌animal that represents them:  ( A Rattlesnake // A Vulture )

▌worst habits:  ( Thinking bad thoughts, getting down on himself, tugging on his hair )

▌role models: ( Most of the Soul Society Captains, Isshin, others he has met )

▌sexual orientation: ( Pansexual / Cupiosexual but leaning towards men )

▌thoughts on marriage / kids:  ( Part of him wants to settle down, but knows he can’t - not with his powers so unstable… Canonically though, he’s married to Orihime and has a son named Kazui. )

▌fears:  ( Dying (again), seeing his loved ones get hurt/die, being unable to protect anything/anyone, drowning )

▌style preferences:  ( Enjoys T-shirts that fit his figure, loves pants that go nicely down his legs, sometimes wears hats, and has a taste for bracelets at moments )

▌someone they love:  ( Shunsui, his family and friends )

▌approach to friendships: ( Once, he was easy about it. Now, however, it’s difficult for him to open up )

▌thoughts on pie:  ( His sister Yuzu makes a fantastic Cherry/Raspberry Pie )

▌favourite drink:  ( He’s prone to coffee, but also likes sparkling non-alcoholic beverages )

▌favourite place to spend time at:  ( His place in the Soul Society forest - it’s extremely quiet and allows him the peace he could never get in Karakura Town )

▌swim in the lake or in the ocean:  ( LAKES - The forest has small places where water pools - he can often rest in them. )

▌their type:   ( Anyone who would treat him gently, and take into consideration his severe flaws, PTSD, and shortcomings )

▌camping or indoors:  ( He does enjoy time outside, so camping. )

[asknarashikari]

Me: Y'all not having a good day?

Emu and Mamato: *deep heavy sigh* Yes.

Shinnosuke and Takaharu: Same.

Me: Here. Taka a stress relieving capybara.

Mamato: What? How... Nevermind. *Cuddles capybara*

Capybaras climb on their laps and rest or resting close by.

Them: Thanks.

Emu: Soft and chubby.

Me: Let's go somewhere that's stress relieving.

Later.

Ikki: Why are there some capybaras in the bathhouse?!

Me: Their stress relieving capybaras and don't mind these yuzu citrus.

Them: Stress free.

Daiji: Hey look... One has a duck on its head.

Ikki: Cute. Okay they can stay for a while.

George: *hugging Ikki from behind* It is comforting to.

Ikki: Joji... *feeling embarrassed*

Meanwhile.

Koshirou: *baby babble* *hugs capybara*

Capybara goes back to its bowl of food.

Mama and Papa-san: Awww... Feed it this Koshirou. *Hands a slice of pumpkin*

Capybara accepts food from Koshirou.

Koshirou: *happy noises*

Lovekov: *taking pictures* Too cute.

Sakrua: This one has a cute harness and it's an albino.

Hana: It looks well groomed and fluffy to. 😍

Hiromi: *sleeping next to a baby capy*

Lovekov: *takes pictures* Yes.

Kagerou: *being tsundere at the capybaras*

Sigh... if only I could have a stress relieving capybara... they're just so chill and relaxed and so... zen. And it's friend-shaped to boot

Who doesn't like friend-shaped giant rodents who can bring you peace of mind and serenity...

(Ngl the image of sleepy Hiromi with a napping capybara in his lap.... kyaaaaaa)

[quietbluejay]

More TF related stuff I found doing the LSOTW retrospective:

perfumes assigned to various characters! yes they wear it like air freshener

windblade i knew had to have jasmine and so i thought, what about jasmine and green tea this perfume description of Sixteen92's Mina Harker sounds good for her: "old jasmine tea, ripe plum, black violets, pale skin musk"

for Flamewar, definitely a smoke note, looking at Black Cat from Wild Veil: "smoke, wild clove, lavender, frangipani, herbs, moss"

oh this one kind of feels a bit starscream-y "tuberose, saffron, sandalwood, ginger, kaffir lime, cardamom" something with a bit of sharpness Prowl I think should have cedar/thuja as a note "pink rose, peony, sharpened metal, crisp air, deep pine woods and frozen earth" maybe?? or "white cedar, madagascar vanilla, yuzu" i also want citrus for him lol, it also fits

Chromia: "Black Cherry, Purple Plum, Patchouli, Black Pepper" though maybe I'd switch out cherry for blackcurrant Aileron: "Ripe Peaches, Rosehips, Juicy Strawberry, Asian Pear, White Rose Buds, Pink Musk" yeah I'm just going through some lists and seeing who vibes with what

(i actually have a sample of the Aileron perfume, it's nice)

Blurr: "Ylang Ylang, Orange Flower, Ozone, Sandalwood, Black Pepper, Vetiver" im not 100% on it but orange flower + ozone + black pepper was very blurr Soundwave: "French Marigold, Night Blooming Jasmine, Peace Lily, Black Cardamom, Sweet Incense Smoke" oh yeah, Bee: "Ivory-blush rose petals, orange blossom honey, apple blossoms, melissa leaf, silken shea, sacred benzoin, and just a hint of calming clary sage" though I'd maybe do lavender instead of rose tennnntative Optimus one: Pumpkin, passionfruit, gardenia, amber, apple, bergamot, lemon, green cognac, and soft spices. Scoop: Black currant, mugwort, frankincense, and green mandarin.

(Chromia, Aileron, Blurr and Soundwave are all perfumes from Lurker&Strange), unfortunately i don't remember the rest

[casualartisanninja]

Another thing I want to take responsibility for is the Yuzu incident. In mid 2022, I had an idea: I wanted to create a new persona, one that wasn't tied to me at all, with the express intention of simply being positive and sharing joy with the rest of the Chipspeech community- just sharing random Chipspeech songs.

The rest of my friend group thought this was a great idea, and began sharing songs for me to post there.

Please note that despite the fact that Nure and Seb have since gone on to make callout posts about me for making the Yuzu account and this persona, they both encouraged this plan and said to do it. (I had the original screenshots at one time but I lost them, so here's the version I put in the Google Docs draft of this response.)

If they thought it was manipulative and wrong, then they should have spoken up and told me not to do it- just as they had in the past with other ideas I had that would come off as cruel or otherwise fanned the flames we were all trying so desperately to put out. I wouldn't have done it if they had just said “I really don't think this is a good idea, that's lying and being manipulative. You’re omitting important information and playing with people’s feelings by forming a fraudulent bond with them. Would you really like it if it turned out one of us was secretly Chiploider and Lepus, posing as a new person only to show all of their friends what you were saying in confidence, and that our friendship hadn’t been genuine?” But hindsight is 20/20, and I really, really wish someone had stopped me and just told me that paragraph, and encouraged me to think more about what it’d be like on the receiving end. That no, the ends don’t justify the means, and there’s better ways to sow peace.

I would like to mention, I'm not upset at my friends for not telling me that this plan wasn't a good idea. I understand, this is one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time to all of us. Furthermore it was disrespectful of me to pose as someone who wasn’t a native English speaker in an attempt to disguise my syntax, and I recognize that this was extremely insulting to those who actually did have to work to learn English. I’m very sorry for that, and again, I didn’t really think about the implications there. Going forward I won’t ever pose as a different person again - and especially won’t pose as a non-native speaker. I promise that if I own an account from now on, I’ll be honest and say “This is Mavis.” 

But for Nure and Seb to call me out on this and act like they were never on board with this is just deliberately misleading. Again, I run these things by my friends for this reason. I trust them to pick up on things and have foresight that I wouldn't, and be able to basically tell me if I'm being an asshole. Seb and Nure both said “do it”.

I also forgot to attach this part to the section about the asks Blu got. I apologize for this being messed up and out of order.

I had a similar phenomenon happen in Chipspeech actually - one of my friends made an alt account on Tumblr and they explained they’d use it to stand up for me, but they actually used it to bully one of the most prominent members in Chipspeech, who led most of the efforts in callouts against me. But yet, I got blamed for these tweets. I told this friend off in DMs and a voice chat, as I explained on my Youtube channel addressing this. Please watch this video for a debunking of the Glitchkrieg incident with screenshots. It also touches on some of the other Chipspeech accusations. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPxgEGCFDu0

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[orangeshinigami]

[ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them (From Yuzu from my inbox call)

🍓@whiskeysmulti

People just seemed to have some sort of a weird obsession with him, with picking FIGHTS with him, to be more specific. He didn't do anything to deserve that, most of the time he was only minding his own business and then boom.

A random idiot would show up and make sure he went home sporting brand new BRUISES. ( But Ichigo always fought back, no way he'd just let stupid bullies walk away unharmed. He made them regret ever crossing paths with him-- which was what had caused many to see him as a punk, a delinquent. He was doing nothing wrong though, he was just defending himself ).

Earlier today, with the last rays of sunlight shining down upon him, he'd been on his way home after a long day of sitting through classes-- but the peace and quiet he'd been basking in had been disturbed by a group of assholes. While dealing with said assholes, he'd fallen over and hurt his arm in the process--

He didn't like talking to his family about these... Problems he had been having-- He didn't want them to worry. He could handle it all on his own, after all. So he'd decided to hide the huge red & purple bruise on his arm with a long-sleeved shirt, yep. Great idea. ( Not really but what else was he supposed to do? The last thing he wanted was for one of his sisters or his old man to be fussing over him, so hiding it was the best option here ).

Too bad it was hurting like a bitch and every time somebody so much as lightly touched it, he would wince. Needless to say, he wasn't able to conceal there was something wrong for too long.

" --Why are you looking at me like that? It's nothing serious, Yuzu, I promise." He cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at her, ready to change the subject already before she even tried to ask anything else about his injury. "Shouldn't you be asleep by now, by the way? It's getting late and you're just a kid. You won't grow up well if you don't get enough sleep. Do you wanna be that SHORT for the rest of your life?"

[ichigopanhpff]

Mitsuya x Fem!Reader: Begin Again Ch. 3

Editing: every writer's nightmare. Thanks again for the support on this small story. Recently, I read "Happiest Year" by @bxnten and it's really well written. Please give them some love!

[Previous Chapter] -- [Masterlist] -- [Next Chapter]

---

Arriving at (Y/N)’s place without troubles, the two settled in the living area, sitting cross legged from one another with the low table beside them.

“You remember Yuzuha and Hakkai, right?” Mitsuya began.

“Yeah… they’re Taiju’s younger siblings,” she recalled. “Hakkun came by your place pretty often.”

“Well…” The lilac haired boy filled her in on the current situation, starting with Takemichi, the newly appointed first division captain getting beaten up in front of the Shiba residence. Taiju is the current leader of Black Dragons, but Hakkai's apart of Toman, leading to the other captains to think he’s a spy. To make matters worse, he himself was under the impression Yuzuha was doing something dangerous on the side for Taiju; turns out he was right: she was collecting money from his wealthy clients in exchange for his military power.

Mitsuya had two choices: Either give Hakkai back to the Black Dragons to free Yuzuha and form a truce or keep Hakkai, leaving his sister in harm’s way and Toman would have an all out war on their hands.

His thoughts and heart then wandered to what Mikey said to him after meeting with Yuzuha: “We’re down to half now.”

Only three of the founding members of Toman are left: Mikey, Draken and himself.

With Pah and Kazutora still serving out their sentences in jail, only now did he realize how heavy Baji’s death weighed in Mikey’s heart and mind.

He even told him to leave the Black Dragons alone out of fear of losing him too. And that was the last thing he wanted to do to his friend.

It was a devil’s deal, but a necessary one for the sake of peace.

“(Y/N)… Do you think I made the right choice?” he asked with knitted brows, doubting his decision. His eyes looked much more exhausted than usual. “Lookin’ back on it now, the truce happened way too easily.” Mitsuya’s face showed worry. “Am I just overthinking it?”

“Your concern’s valid, given your close relationship with Hakkun and Yuzu-chan…” she sympathized. “Were there any objections to your decision within the captains?”

He searched his thoughts for a moment and responded “… For some reason, Takemitchy was very against it. I’m not sure what his reasoning is, but he’s still new as a division captain…”

“Do you think he knows something you don’t?”

“Who knows? He’s always been very… eccentric and stubborn, to say the least. His heart’s in the right place. I just hope he and his vice captain aren’t planning on doing anything stupid.”

“See, now that you said it out loud, the chances of that happening are very high,” his friend remarked as a matter of factly.

“Oh, goddamnit,” groaned Mitsuya and lightly face palmed.

“Hey, Mi-tan…” This time, it was (Y/N)’s tone that came off as worrisome, catching his attention. “Do you think Taiju’ll keep his word? Given what I heard ‘bout his personality as kids…”

“That’s what I think too,” he concurred and loosely clasped his hands with his elbows resting on the low table. “Yuzuha’s definitely hiding somethin’ and I can’t shake this uneasy feeling.”

“What will you do?”

“What can I do?” He sighed heavily and laid down on the tatami with his arms sprawled out. His eyes were fixated on the aged ceiling. “The truce is made, so neither gang can touch each other. Our hands are tied.”

She flopped down beside Mitsuya and placed her hands behind her head.

“But you’re stubborn,” she lightheartedly jabbed. “And you’ll find a way, even if you feel like you’re spinning your wheels.”

“I hate you know me like that,” her childhood friend noted with a light groan and closed his eyes. “It’s almost to the point of annoyance.”

“At least it’s ‘almost’ and not ‘fully’,” she replied back with a chuckle and a grin.

A comfortable silence settled between the two for a short beat.

“(Y/N)… Thanks for listening.”

“Of course…” She closed her eyes and relished in the peace. “And here I thought you were avoiding me.”

“There were a lotta movin’ parts and everythin’ went down fast,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” “You didn’t do it on purpose. It happens,” she brushed off. “Also, this is nice… Reminds me of when I used to do this with Hisa-nii whenever we talked about stuff.”

That’s right. Her half-brother.

“If you don’t mind my asking…” Mitsuya hesitantly brought up and turned his head to face his friend. “How did he… you know.”

Ever since she came back, this topic felt like the obstacle he's been trying to break, despite only learning of this less than a week ago. He personally doesn't like prying into people's lives, but this was (Y/N) here; she's one of his best friends, his confidante, his... person.

She knew for a fact he'd be the first person to be present if anything happened. That was the kind of person he is.

She stayed silent for a short moment, deciding how much to share.

“I-I mean,” he hastily cut in. “Only if you’re up for sharing.”

“… He was in Tokyo when it happened around March two years ago,” she revealed. “Hisa-nii was visiting colleges around the area that focused on computer science and anything tech related. He was always tinkering, be it a camera or some kinda computer part,” she reminisced with a small smile on her lips. “As he was heading back to his friend’s place for the night, he saw a girl getting harassed… by members of Black Dragons.”

Mitsuya’s breath audibly hitched in his throat as his lavender gaze widened and listened on.

“And him, being the righteous guy that he was, loved a good fight. So he dove in headstrong to save her.” (Y/N) paused for a moment to gather herself before continuing. “From what I remember reading in the police report, he managed to knock out most of them… Until one came up from behind and stabbed him with a knife.”

Her arms shifted from behind her head to the front, hiding her face from him when her eyes started feeling hot.

“Those assholes ran off like the cowards they were. The girl he saved stayed with him until the ambulance came…” she continued on while fighting the dark, seething rage bubbling inside her. “But by the time help got there, he already lost too much blood. Autopsy report said the knife hit a major vessel nearby his kidney and they couldn’t stop the bleeding in time.”

(Y/N) inhaled through her nose deeply as an attempt to calm down before talking.

“Dad n’ I…” she choked out with a low, quivering voice. “We’ve been grievin’ our own way after the funeral… He uses work to numb himself and I…” The emotional wall she built up these past two years crumbled away piece by piece in the form of tears. Her shoulders uncontrollably shook as she gradually broke into a full sob.

This was the first time she said all this out loud.

All these feelings she packed away exploded into the purest form of grief in tears and cries. There were so many things she wished she could’ve said to him, like how much she grew to love him as family, how thankful she was for him, and how grateful she was of all the nuggets of knowledge he passed down to her.

Those words and feelings were lost in the endless void he left in her heart.

While humans are on borrowed time, no one ever thinks of how short it is when spending it with another. And no matter how much time you perceived to have spent together, it only feels like a drop in the bucket in the grander scheme of things.

All Mitsuya could do was hold his friend in a tight hug as she let out her pain and stroked the back of her head as a form of comfort.

She’d been fighting all by herself. Suffering all by herself.

What could he do for her right now other than this? The two year radio silence made sense now.

Her hesitancy in giving him a direct answer about the Black Dragons and her sudden urge to want to be involved…

“(Y/N)… I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

That was all he could say.

Had he known, he would’ve been on the first bullet train to Sendai to be with her.

Mitsuya continued consoling her with the faint muffled sounds of her sobs and hiccups vibrating on his chest until she was able to calm down. Slowly pushing herself off, (Y/N) hastily wiped off any remaining tears streaming down her cheeks before sitting upright again.

“Sorry…” she noisily sniffled and continued to wipe stray tears away with her sleeve. “I didn’t expect it to hit that hard saying it out like that…”

“No one should’ve gone through what you did.” His mind briefly went to Mikey when they all found out about Shinichiro’s accidental death at the hands of Kazutora.

“I think you two would’ve gotten on well,” she said with a small smile through glistened eyes. “He may have looked mean, but had the kindest heart.”

“Would you take me to meet him one day?”

She silently nodded as confirmation. “I think… it’d make him happy. Or angry. Either or,” she finished with a dry chuckle.

Gradually regaining composure after opening her emotional Pandora’s Box, (Y/N) went to the kitchen for a glass of water. All the bawling dehydrated her.

“(Y/N)… I actually have something to tell you…” he hesitated before continuing. “And it involves your half-brother’s death.”

She immediately turned her head with a perplexed expression. Mitsuya took a breath to steady himself, not knowing how this information would mentally affect her, but he felt she deserved some closure. She came back to the living room area and sat down with her full attention on him.

“Toman actually defeated the Black Dragons when we first formed…” he told her. “It was the ninth generation.”

Her body suddenly jolted and froze, her breath hitched in her throat. Her fists clenched on top of her lap tightly.

“Wh-Wh-What do you mean?” she asked in confusion between hiccups. “Generation? Black Dragons right now isn’t the same one?”

Mitsuya went on to explain a gang’s generation structure. As with all gangs, the passing of the torch to the younger members create the generation that represented the group as a whole. The current 10th generation was the worst by far in regards to violence.

“We started Toman ‘cus one of our friends was fighting them alone,” he continued. “And it just so happened after your brother’s unfortunate passing was at the hands of the same generation we took down.”

(Y/N) huffed in disbelief and breathlessly laughed.

“What kinda fucked up intertwining of fates is this?” she bitterly remarked and covered her eyes with her left hand, still digesting the turn of events. “Here I was, hesitating in pulling the trigger for revenge… When you already did that for me indirectly.”

Suddenly sitting up straight and placing both her knuckles onto the tatami, she bowed her head at Mitsuya like a yakuza member.

“(Y-Y/N)?!” The lilac haired boy suddenly jumped up from the floor, taken aback by his friend’s gesture. “What’re you doin’?”

“You have my thanks, Mi-tan. No, Tokyo Manji Gang’s Second Division Captain, Mitsuya Takashi.”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Just lift your head up already!” he hurriedly spoke in one breath with a sense of panic.

“I am now indebted to the Tokyo Manji Gang,” (Y/N) firmly continued, her head still bowed down. “Should you ever need anything from me…”

“(Y/N), stop,” her friend pleaded and firmly grabbed her shoulders. “Listen, this all happened by chance. You don’t owe us anything! Now please lift your head.”

“Not until you accept my plea.” She carried on where she left off. “Should you ever need anything from me, I, (Y/FN), shall be an ally to Tokyo Manji Gang to lend my strength where it’s necessary. No matter what.”

The lilac haired boy clicked his tongue in annoyance at the stubbornness of his friend and scratched the back of his head in discomfort.

“I get it. Fine, fine," Mitsuya sighed out loud and conceded. "I accept your damn plea on behalf of Toman. Now lift your friggin’ head up, idiot. N’ stop being so formal. It’s weird.”

She finally did as he requested, flashing a toothy grin and said, “But it worked, didn’t it?”

“Dummy, you got snot all over your face,” her friend chuckled and reached for the tissue from the box at the far end of the room and threw it at her face. (Y/N) scrunched her face at the soft item slowly floating down to the floor and grabbed it before it hit.

---

The last sighs of autumn gave way to the rush of winter’s cold winds. Mitsuya’s friend gave an audible shiver and sneezed, followed with a sniffle.

“Don’t catch a cold now,” he commented. The two were walking home from the train after club activities.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed and tucked her face further into her thick scarf. “Sendai’s twice as cold as this. Someone’s probably talking about me.”

“If you say so. Forecast said we may get snow this year.”

“In Tokyo?” she replied with a tone of shock and looked up at the sun setting sky. “My God. Is the end of days near?”

“I hope not.”

The two teens walked in silence, relishing in the peace in the streets. It’s been about 3 weeks since the truce with Black Dragons happened and there hasn’t been a single sighting of a gang member. Since they last talked, the two have felt closer than before, as if the invisible wall built between them shattered.

Mitsuya still couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling in his stomach. Part of him was glad the truce is holding up, but his instincts were screaming at something behind the scenes was afoot; he just didn’t know what and all he can do is wait.

“You doin’ anything for Christmas?” the lilac haired boy asked to distract his brain.

“Alone for the holidays,” (Y/N) drawled out dramatically with a hand loosely splayed atop her forehead. “Dad’s still away due to his job.”

“Wanna spend it with my sisters and me?” he asked all of a sudden.

“Sure. We can do nabe*,” she replied with a sing-songy tone at the end and wiggled her eyebrows. “One of the aunties next door gave me a portable gas burner the other day since they got a new one.”

“Damn, that actually sounds really good… I feel bad not spending time with my sisters lately.”

“Mi-tan, food forgives all,” she firmly stated and clapped her hand on his shoulder. “’Specially with kids.”

---

Christmas Day came in the blink of an eye. (Y/N) made a quick stop at the supermarket and grabbed two prepackaged nabe food sets, extra ingredients and an extra gas canister before heading over to Mitsuya's. After a short walk, she finally reached his place and knocked on the door. The entryway opened to reveal her friend wearing wearing a Santa hat.

“Merry Christmas,” he greeted with his signature grin, with her responding with the same greeting.

Entering the warm apartment, the two younger siblings greeted her in the form of a running hug. The amount of force from the two girls nearly knocked her over.

“Slow down, speed racers,” (Y/N) replied with a chuckle. “Or else you won’t get your presents.”

“Presents?!” the two girls both said simultaneously.

“Luna, Mana, at least let our guest come in first,” a new voice called from the living room. It was their mom. “It’s been a while, (Y/N)-chan. You’ve grown up so lovely,” she greeted with a warm smile.

“A-Ah, it’s been a while indeed,” she politely greeted and bowed, not expecting his mom to have gotten the day off. “I’ve been in Mi-tan’s care since I’ve been back. Oh, I brought some ingredients for nabe today.”

“Yay! Nabe! Nabe! Nabe!” Luna and Mana chanted gleefully and danced around in circles.

“I’ll take the bag from you.” Mitsuya took it off of her shoulder and peeked at the contents. “Whoa, you bought a lot…”

“It’s fine. You’ll have leftovers,” she replied while removing her boots, followed by her scarf and jacket at the doorway. She stood up and reached inside the bag to take out the wrapped presents to place in the small pile in the corner of the living room area.

Mitsuya’s mom spent some time catching up with (Y/N) while Takashi prepped snacks for everyone. The two teenagers then got to preparing the ingredients for dinner. Not long after, everything was ready to be stewed over the portable fire. They decided to exchange presents while waiting for the food to cook.

The two girls opened their big brother’s presents first, which were stuffed animals from his home ec club; they both tackle hugged their big brother to the point of throwing him off balance. It was then time to open (Y/N)’s presents, which were a pair of hand knitted white and pink mittens and headband set. Mrs. Mitsuya opened hers and placed a hand knit cream coloured beret on her head.

“Here,” she handed a wrapped item to Takashi as well.

“You didn’t have to… I didn’t get you anything.”

“Since when did we start counting presents?” she disregarded with a smile. “Open it.”

Takashi untied the ribbon of his present and revealed a navy blue scarf with hand embroidered initials of his first and last name in English letters with orange thread. He knew firsthand how hard it was to do this kind of detailing without a machine and was touched by the effort she put into this. His gaze wandered over to her and noticed the bandages on her left index and middle fingers.

“So? Does it meet your design standards, Mr. Future Designer?” his childhood friend quipped.

“Yes, it does,” he softly replied with a matching smile and traced his fingers on top of the hand embroidery. “Thank you. I’ll take good care of this.”

The scent of simmering nabe engulfed the apartment, indicating it was time to eat. With a lift of the lid by (Y/N), steam rose up from the pot, revealing the cooked contents. Takashi assisted her with dividing out the food portions for everyone and slowly dug in. These rare peaceful days were a blessing, he thought to himself. He watched his friend give Mana a portion of the simmered tofu and helped her cut it up into smaller pieces for ease of eating.

Ever since she came back into his life, it felt like their conversation was naturally picked back up like they never stopped talking. She was always kind and thoughtful to his sisters and always helped without him ever asking. Since when did he start to notice how big of a presence she’s had in his life? In his family? He smiled to himself while watching her place the knitted headband on top of Mana’s head.

With the snow accumulating on the ground, the five decided to go outside to make little snow people for a bit. Not long after the family of snow were made, they huddled back inside to warm up. Night time soon fell and the two girls started drifting off to sleep; Takashi prompted both of them to wash up before turning in. The two teenagers stayed outside, watching the snow fall lightening up.

“Thanks for coming today,” he said with a grateful smile. “My sisters and mom were really happy you were able to.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s better than spending it alone.”

“I’ll take you home on my bike,” the silver purple haired boy proposed. “It’s gonna be a pain to walk in this snow.”

“I won’t complain ‘bout that.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the buzzing and ringing of Mitsuya’s phone in his pocket.

The caller ID showed Chifuyu’s name.

--

*Nabe or nabemono is "hot pot." You can make things like sukiyaki (thinly sliced beef, tofu, vegetables and starch noodles stewed in sweetened soy sauce and eaten with a raw egg dip), shabu shabu (cooking thinly sliced meat and veggies in a hot soup base), and chankonabe (very protein heavy with cabbage and udon. Mostly eaten by sumo wrestlers to put on weight) in it. Nabe dishes vary by the region of Japan you're in and is very good winter comfort food.

Taglist: @netzukochannn and @toobsessedsstuff

[ao3feed-ichiruki]

The First of Many

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/sZpuEYj

by TheSilenceOfHel

Yhwach has been defeated! The heroic actions of Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida Uryuu, and the members of the Thirteen Court Guard Companies have ended The Thousand Year Blood War, with heavy losses on both sides. With peace finally coming to all worlds, Ichigo and his friends have decided to take a well deserved rest, and take the time away from the past two years of chaos since Kuchiki Rukia arrived in the Kurosaki home. With nothing but time on their hands, who knows what kind of interesting developments will occur?

Words: 583, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Bleach

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Kuchiki Rukia, Kurosaki Ichigo, Inoue Orihime, Ishida Uryuu, Sado "Chad" Yasutora, Abarai Renji, Shihouin Yoruichi, Kurosaki Isshin, Kurosaki Karin, Kurosaki Yuzu, Kurosaki Family Ensemble (Bleach)

Relationships: Kuchiki Rukia/Kurosaki Ichigo, Inoue Orihime/Ishida Uryuu, Shihouin Yoruichi/Urahara Kisuke

Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/sZpuEYj

[sheikahwarriork]

just finished season 6!

not as good as season 5, but still very solid

the sanctum "deity" thing was really cool because 1) omg fucked up immortal people by fucked up methods 2) it was similar to mount weather thing (the primes were willing to sacrifice people in order to make them survive) but BETTER DONE, they were selfish and greedy and we saw WHY and HOW. not two stupid people (the doctor and the son of the head of mount weather- cant remember their names) that fuck up everything bc they couldnt think for a fucking second- no. stop ranting about mount weather yuzu. you no longer need to. its over.

ok im fine. lets continue

poor jordan. spent his first 16 years alive with just his parents and then he falls in love with a girl which dies immediately. welcome to this serie!

bellamy 10/10 character. i forgive him for everything

clarke 9/10 character. she got a lot of point. not a top tier list character but solid. good. finally i understand why she's the protagonist. i dont want her to die anymore

josephine was very very funny. i'll miss her

i cant believe they CANONICALLY made marcus kane immortal. I WAS RIGHT HE IS UNABLE TO DIE. and ofc the only way to get rid of him was making him kill himself. most powerful character ever. i'll miss you daddy

the episode where clarke is on her own mind with josephine is the BEST episode of ALL THE SERIE. it was INCREDIBLE and i loved it!! she faced ALL the problems i criticised her about. if you told me theres gonna be such a cool episode while i was still at season 2 i wouldnt believe you

the octavia mindtrip episode was very cool too. im happy she finally went to therapy

i'm a bit disappointed in john murphy in this season. i mean i liked him but his character used to be funnier in the past seasons. also its funny in this season he DID something instead of letting things happen to him and SHIT HAPPENED. murphy you're not supposed to take the initiative. let life beat you

anyway murphy and emori are super cute and i fucking love them. grrrrr

what. what do you mean. echo is not echo. echo used to be called ash and the real echo was her friend that was forced to kill her but ash killed her instead so she took the real echo identity. what do. you fucking. mean. i'm not crying you're crying

didnt quite get gabriel's character. lets see

still didnt quite get madi's character. i mean what is her beside the commander (which shes not anymore) and clarke's daughter? idk. lets see

rip abby. i hope you'll have fantastic post-life sex with kane in heaven

poor raven. she finally got laid and his boyfriend died EPISODE 1. cant you give her a fucking rest

a boy kissed murphy. funny. i love when things happen to murphy

anyway its so funny everywhere these characters go they bring death and destruction. sanctum used to be a peaceful place before they arrived, even if people died so the prime could "reincarnate". and then clarke arrives and a lot of people die. TRULY WANHEDA

i fucking hate catholics

btw i'm watching the 100 for the first time in my life but i remember the hype on the internet in like 2015 about this serie

i have Thoughts (just started 3rd season so this is about seasons 1 and 2)

everyone is fucking stupid. like really really stupid. i cant believe humanity survived for 97 years

clarke is smart but also very very stupid. why is a 17 yo in charge

raven is smart, not too stupid. i forgive her

john murphy is the funniest character ever

i remembered there was lesbians but i didnt know who the lesbians were. at first i thought they were clarke and raven bc they fight over a white boy so i thought i would be funny if they were The Lesbians

lexa can step on me

its cool lexa is canonically bi but i cant believe she fell for clarke. lexa deserves better. clarke is too stupid for her

the grounders are RIGHT. they are FUCKING RIGHT. SINCE EPISODE 1. they are NOT stupid

i called finn "white boy" during all the serie. he's such a white boy. he's very very stupid. i'm glad he died and i hated when the sky people wanted to save him from the execution bc THE GROUNDERS WERE RIGHT HE HAD TO DIE. he killed 18 FUCKING DEFENSELESS ELDERS AND CHILDREN

i miss anya. she was such a badass. clarke: "nuuuh i need a sharp and sterile knife-" anya proceeds to BIT HER OWN ARM to get the chip out. 10/10 character

about the mountain weather arc: oh my god they are so stupid. mountain people are so stupid i mean. "ohh we need sky people's bone marrow so we can survive but theres only 47 of them so in order to take all the bone marrow for us they have to die" you know how they could handle this shit?? by fucking ASKING. they KNEW there were other sky people on the ground now. like at least 100 of them i think. so they should have gone to them and say, "hi sorry we are humans who have to live underground bc radiations. but your bone marrow could save us. so can all of you give us a bit of your bone marrow? we offer an alliance and other commodities (medicines etc)". imo sky people would say YES bc bone marrow grows back its not too dangerous to donate it if its just a bit. everybody would be alive by now. and i wouldnt have got a headache

still about mountain weather arc: another way to handle that would have been: asking the 47 kids a bit of their bone marrow and WAITING it to grow back. like donators in real life yk? by 2 years all of the mountain people could have gone on the surface and everybody would be alive now and i wouldnt have got a headache

marcus kane is also a very funny character. hes desperately trying to die since they flowed those 320 people on the arc. and i LOVE he CANT die. everytime he's like "omg finally im going to die" and someone saves him. im sure as soon as he thinks "ok maybe being alive is not so bad" he gets shot

mountain weather arc is truly the most stupid thing that every happened in a tv show. they chose the worst possible way to handle the problem. they acted more stupidly than the kids in season 1. i really cant believe humanity survived for 97 years

the "100" on the spaceship were NEVER exactly one hundred. bc bellamy got inside so they were 101. but during the landing 2 kids died. so they were 99. there is not a single moment in this serie called "the 100" were they are one hundred. this fact is driving me crazy

i truly hope everyone dies bc i hate almost all of them. the only people that imo are allowed to survive are: octavia, jasper, monty, raven, murphy, kane (bc its funny he cant die), and all of the grounders. other peoples are too stupid to live so i hope they die soon so i dont get other headaches (edit: bellamy is on thin ice bc hes funny but hes also very much stupid)

i cant believe mountain weather arc. oh my god it was so stupid

[bansept]

Ichihime Week | Day 3: Family

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Kurosaki family always had little trips prepared for this or that occasion: the end of school, someone’s birthday… And of course, Masaki’s death anniversary. When the children were young, it was a thrilling idea, a way to discover a new place and imagine an exciting story. When the children grew, the mere thought of going away was disturbing, annoying. The meaning of moving to a place with the family got lost in cries of boredom and arguments, but Isshin never gave up.

Yuzu and Karin were still there, in his house, and officially speaking, still “had” to obey his commands, canceling plans they might have with their friends. One day, one of the twins had muttered the word “dictatorship”, and he had cried, whimpering at how ungrateful his daughters were to him. They still came, frowning a little bit, but a smile never too far behind.

Ichigo had been too busy to go on a family trip. First, with the Dojo: who knew a place that was not so visited could be lively at the exact time his presence was required to have fun? The kids and teenagers were far too inclined in asking him to show them moves for him to refuse. A paycheck was a paycheck. Second, Orihime herself was atrociously busy. Being the main confectioner, she oversaw most of the confection of chocolate delights in the bakery. Giving orders was a full-time job, and even if her love for her work brought her happiness, she was as exhausted as her husband.

The third was Kazui. Or mostly, the presence and necessity to oversee a young child, the infant going to a nanny when his parents could not attend to his needs. Moody because of his teething, Kazui was a small little ball of smile, and the next minute, a crying angry puddle of anger. As peaceful and adorable as he could be, he was still so young, so dependable of his parents that taking him anywhere outside of the environments he knew was a big no-no.

“Ichigo, can you please go and get him?” Orihime mumbled, one hand raised to her husband’s shoulder, pushing him slightly to make him understand with subtility that she would not move a muscle herself.

Ichigo, eyes half open and short hair sticking out in a comical manner, groaned a response stuck between a ‘yes’ and ‘you’re next’ before getting up tiredly to retrieve his crying son.

Somehow, and after a good year of no traveling in family, Orihime had suggested a family day here, in their house. To catch up, to brag about how Kazui was able to carry his head by himself and how close he was to sit steadily. Yuzu and Karin could see their brother and nephew, and Isshin could discuss with his daughter-in-law. Strangely enough, the idea was immediately accepted when it was Orihime that talked it out. And so now, the two young parents would prepare their small home for the rest.

Ichigo came back into the room, Kazui sniffling in his arms, little hands gripping his father’s shirt. The man was shushing him, rocking the boy slowly and repeating everything was alright.

“You’re hurting? I’m sorry baby… It should stop soon… Didn’t the doc say it lasted like, 8 days for a crisis? It’s been 6 days…” Ichigo asked, finger going to his son’s mouth so he could massage his gums, anything for the pain to be lessened.

“Maybe he’s hungry too… Here, give him to me.” Orihime answered, sitting up against the bed and opening her arms. Ichigo carefully placed the infant in her embrace, giving him a light peck on the forehead. Kazui shuffled a little but smiled when he saw his mother.

Orihime made some funny gurgles, talking to her boy with a high voice, trying to get him in a better mood until he got something to eat. Ichigo watched the scene with a smile and stretched his back, sighing.

“Should get things ready before the horde arrives.” Ichigo joked, walking to the bathroom near their room to get some water on his face. That should help wake him up.

He heard the funny noise die down as Orihime breastfed their son. Ichigo didn’t need to be next to them to know she was smiling down at him tenderly, and Kazui was certainly looking up at her with the same brown eyes filled with amazement. At least they were in calm waters for now…

.

.

.

By the time it was 9:30, Kazui was set to stay in the living room and play with Ichigo in his cute outfit. Orihime and Ichigo themselves were ready, preparing their small house for the arrival of his family, but nothing too fancy. In Ichigo’s opinion, they didn’t need to have balloons floating around, or a cake ready when it was still morning.

“And right at this moment, that giant ice cream cone yelled at me to run far from the bean paste, but I just couldn’t! How can you choose between two of your favorite things?” Orihime asked, hands on her hips, eyes wide as saucers, clearly expecting an answer from her husband, who definitely knew she had to stop eating sweets before going to sleep.

“Um… Yeah, but that bean paste was clearly trying to eat you… So I’d say, you listen to ice cream.” It was silly to answer her about her own very silly dreams while holding Kazui up so he could experiment walking. But that kind of silly was always welcomed.

Orihime shook her head with a pout, but was interrupted by the sound of someone pressing the doorbell. She got up from her seat, fixing her dress slightly before opening the door with a big smile.

“Yuzu! Karin! Hi!” She hugged them both preciously, the twins greeting her in response. Stepping back, she looked around to see Isshin wasn’t behind them, and frowned, worried.

“Don’t worry about dad, he’ll arrive quickly. We were just ahead so he could work on another file before coming.” Karin explained, waving a hand as her sister cooed at the interesting picture of Ichigo holding Kazui by his hands, the little boy not knowing what to do with the two jelly legs he possessed.

“Ichi! Aw, let me get a picture!”

“Yuzu stop! No! Not a picture come on!”

Karin placed a bag near the door, observing with a satisfied smile her brother being taken advantage of, unable to escape or fight the will of his own sister and his wife.

“Are… No, I can’t hold him… I’ll drop him!”

“No, you won’t. Come on, he’s your nephew, you gotta hold him once in your life.”

Karin frowned, Yuzu prepared her phone for yet another picture and Orihime held up Kazui to Karin, reassuring her that he wouldn’t end up on the floor. The baby seemed to not mind, appreciating any hands that carried him, knowing none would harm him. Ichigo was like an eagle, not even blinking while he stared at his sister, the black-haired girl grumbling a little at how she was forced. But really, she wasn’t.

“Is… Like that, okay? Is that good?” She asked, infant stuck in her arms, and Orihime nodded.

“Yes, just like that. See? It wasn’t too complicated.”

“Yeah… But I didn’t expect him to be so… Heavy? No, not heavy… But he’s not as light as I thought he’d be.”

“He’s growing. Of course he’ll be heavier than at his birth.” Ichigo remarked, snickering at the grimace Karin sent him.

Orihime smiled brightly at the two bickering siblings. Ichigo used to not joke around with his sisters, too busy mopping his anger and pain in his corner, but now, he was having a great time annoying the twins. She guessed it was something older brothers did.

Isshin opened the door loudly, singing about finally seeing his grandson and daughter-in-law again after so long, the ridiculous amount of baby gifts in his hands falling on the floor as he walked in. Now, as to why Isshin, out of all people, had a key to their house, Ichigo was not willing to say. He had chosen Yuzu to have it first, but she had lost it for a good day, and the panic it brought was a cold shower to everyone, to the point Karin mentioned Isshin as the best key keeper out of the three of them.

Which, of course, was true. Since he was an adult and all. But he was still Isshin. Loud, impulsive and horribly annoying Isshin.

“How is he?? Aw, look at him in his cute little clothes! Oh yes, you look just like your dada when he was your age Kazui! Although, thank God you have your mama’s smile!” He cooed at the baby, who of course didn’t understand a single word, but the mere expression and intonation pulled his smile up, showing just a few teeth. Isshin gasped and tickled the baby’s tummy. “Oh, yes, you already have such cute little gums!”

Orihime laughed at the voice Isshin always took whenever Kazui was around, and freed him from the many plushies he had gathered in his arms.

“Oh, thank you, Orihime. So, is everything doing alright for you three?” He questioned, straightening up and looking at the woman. Of course, as a doctor, he’d ask this question with real interest.

“Yes, we’re all fine. Kazui is still having a bit of a crisis from time to time, but we manage to handle it well. And Ichigo is getting better and better at handling Kazui.” She smiled, whispering the last part in a conspiratorial tone. Her husband heard her, and with a blush, frowned in her general direction.

Isshin grinned at the exchange, but didn’t tease his son further. It was strange how one day he was grumpy, and the next, he and Orihime walked into his house to tell him they were dating. From that moment, his son was like a stranger: offering help to do this or that house chores, hesitantly discussing with his family, feeling happy and calm around them… And now that he was a father, he hardly ever yelled at Isshin anymore. Of course, he was still mad at him for being the silly old man he always had been, but Ichigo seemed to be mindful of what his own son was going to grow up to.

By the time Kazui was hungry again, Orihime excused herself as she picked the infant and walked back to her room, giving Isshin the opportunity to talk with Ichigo.

“So… How are you handling all of that?”

Ichigo raised his head from the table, placing another plate on the surface and shrugging his shoulders.

“Well… We’re happy. I think that’s what matters. Orihime and I are working, so it’s a good thing, even if we wish we could be around Kazui more. And Kazui is growing up…” He turned silent after that, the timid smile he had on his face stilling.

Isshin tapped his back lightly.

“You’re doing a good job Ichigo. Although you became a father early, you’re doing your best for him and for your wife. Honestly, you can be proud of yourself.”

The orange-haired man shook his head with amusement, gazing at his goat chinned father.

“I tell myself that. But soon he’ll be able to stand on his own, or even talk… And we’ll have to teach him everything about this crazy world of ours… Things about Shinigamis and Hollows, Arrancars even, so that he doesn’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Isshin looked around the room to his daughters, watching as they discussed on which fluffy plushy was the cutest.

“Your sisters only knew after a good while. But don’t worry about that. Kazui will have a lot of people to teach him, and all these people will keep him safe. Plus… I’m pretty sure he will be safe with the amazing parents he has.”

Ichigo’s eyes opened wide, tenderness and surprise taking the lead in his mixed emotions. Isshin was right : Orihime and he were not alone in this. People from Karakura, the Soul Society and the others stuck between the two would help them keep their child safe. Keep him from being hurt. That simple but truthful knowledge made him gasp for air, relaxed and thankful.

The young man nodded, throat a bit too tight for him to talk in his usual confident tone. Orihime walked back in, Kazui looking sated and in a good mood as his mother placed him in Yuzu’s eager arms.

“You know… I, guess it’s strange for everyone to see me like that… Not yelling at you for goofing around. But Orihime told me she felt that this excitement I almost resented a few years back, this closeness with family members, she thought it was the right way to be wife the family you loved. She wants Kazui to grow up surrounded with love and joy, and I want that too for him.” He scratched the back of his neck, eyes on his sisters then on Orihime. “I still think you’re a silly old man that makes way too much noise. But… I’m happy you’re Kazui’s grandfather, and my father.”

It was Isshin’s turn to have his eyes become the size of tennis balls, tears rushing up. He needed to hold it down, to not explode with joy, to not ruin the moment by hugging his son that had more or less told him he loved him, after so long. So, instead, he ruffled his son’s new short hair.

“It’s my greatest pride to be part of this beautiful family.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaaaaaand day 3!

More than 2100 words, I like that hehe

I thought about writing Kazui to be taller so he could be asking this or that question or be a cute lil cutie pie, but since I visited a family member who recently had a child, heh, I was more inspired in writing an infant.

Don't hesitate to review this, and see you tomorrow for day 4!

[petitmimosa]

post worlds musings, Yuzu, 4A, and grief

I feel very strange right now. I’m disappointed and pissed, as always because when am I not when Yuzu and the ISU meet, but, the rage is yet to arise. It’s weird, like I’ve truly made peace with the fact that FS is no longer a sport decided by the talent of the athletes, but by how much politicking this or that fed does behind (or not, i mean, hello rusfed) the scenes. Because once you accept  there’s no other choice since it will only get WORSE, and people’s health isn’t worth this shit, isn’t worth the anger and the trembling and the losing sleep, once you try and see what it feels like to let go, it gives you a new perspective to consider.

I’m starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m over Figure Skating, in the way I’ve been into it until now, and this is the beginning of the mourning process of something that’s been so, so important to me for so many years now.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again : I’m just waiting for Yuzu to land 4A and get the hell out so I can do the same. Get the hell out of this unealthy grip the ISU and their methods have on me (and I’m sure I’m not the only one).

This way I won’t care as much when watching competitions. I’ll just watch the tech box be the casino slot machine it already is (and has been for quite some time now) and won’t feel the need to yell about it. But I can’t do this until Yuzu retires because let’s be honest, I’ll always feel every jump he lands, every spin he does, every step he takes not being given the maximum GOE if clean as a knife in my overly invested heart in something that’s not even mine to feel.

Also, can we please stop saying “this will fuel Yuzu for the next xxx months”? The man has been at senior level for ELEVEN YEARS. ELEVEN. He should NOT need to be fueled by anything other than the love he has for the sport and the joy it brings him. What if all the bullying he’s been suffering from since 2016/2017 and so on succeeds in sucking all the joy out? Hm? What then? That’s why, I feel, 4A is so important to him. That’s his one goal left, the one thing he wakes up in the morning for. He doesn’t need a bronze medal (which, should have been silver if the sp and the fs goes had been scored right) to fuel him, he doesn’t need the ISU shitting all over him to find the will to push through. He’s HUMAN, it has to take its toll at some point and sometimes I wonder if it hasn’t already and the only way for him to keep skating (at a competition level) is to train for 4A and land it in competition. Look at his face in the K&C, it’s been a few comps where his face is blank, expecting the worse. He knows he’s being treated like trash, and still he smiles for the camera. If we’re all yelling and suffering OUT LOUD on social media, how do we think he feels in plain sight with no escape? I can’t wait for the day he’s finally free of all the pressure, the expectations. His own is one thing, the rest of the world’s? Another. And I want it gone.

He brought so much to this sport, SO FUCKING MUCH, he should not have to be strong the way he has to and take all the hits the isu sends his way. This sport wouldn’t be what it is if it weren’t for him. The youngsters started the quad festival to be able to beat HIM because he was just too good to be defeated. I can only pray figure skating will give him back everything he brought it and we will witness him land 4A. After all the sweat, tears, BLOOD he left on the ice, it would break his heart not to succeed, and I can’t watch it happen, not after all the heartbreak he’s already gone through.

Anyway. Bye now, sorry for all the mess.

[kawaiifigureskating]

the wholesome and adorable content on yuma kagiyama’s instagram is the best thing ever.

so little! so cute!

adorableness at the youth olympic games

awww...wait

of course yuzu’s making a peace sign

these next few are from the grand prix final in torino

yuma and anna (with daniil in the background) 

yuma and kevin

yuma and jin

yuma and yuzu!!!

yuma and nathan, our may 5th boys. 

(they both have may 5th birthdays)

another one with nathan... nathan is one of his skating idols after all

naruto phone cases? i can’t...

(he also apparently loves haikyuu and dr. stone, which makes my little weeb heart so happy)

these drawings!!!

thank you, yuma, for those words of wisdom

(he loves snoopy as much as yuzu loves pooh, apparently)

in short, this meme from skate_the_onion sums up how i feel

so. adorable. i think my depression is cured for the rest of today. 

go follow yuma at this link and make your life better

[m34gs]

*pops up out of the hole I've dug myself in bc GrimmIchi with sunglasses and a Hawaii shirt on*

Hiiiii!!! It's me bugging you again!! (Raid doesn't work either, others have tried lol)

GrimmIchi Western Au??

Are they rival ranchers? Or maybe one/both of them are outlaws? How do they meet? Is it hate or love at first sight? Close to a town or a couples days on horseback away? Nearest doctor if one of them gets injured? How do the other characters play into this Au? What would the conflict be??

🧡💙🧡💙🧡💙💙💙🧡🧡🧡

*Lowers my baseball bat when I see it is you, my friend, and not, in fact, a whack-a-mole*

You are welcome to pop in here as often as you like, friend!! Especially when you bring such lovely ideas to the table. This will be a long response, so you know the drill. Under the cut she gooooooes!

So from the way your ask is worded, I am getting a strong wild-west sense. And I love it!

So, I think Ichigo is a rancher. His father is the physician in the nearest town, but Ichigo wanted to start his own life. So he saved up, did errands around the town and odd-jobs for anyone who needed it to earn enough coin, and then he purchased some property and got himself some cattle. He has a few horses (necessary for work and also the fastest way for him to get to town if he needs to). But he can't manage all those cattle on his own entirely and keep a house. So he often has one of his sisters stay with him, sometimes both. Karin loves helping with ranch chores. Yuzu likes to help with indoor chores. He often has them come over when they need a break from town or when their father is travelling or going to be away. He is the only doctor for a large area, so sometimes he travels out to other towns. They save all their non-emergent issues for him and he addresses them all at once.

Urahara I would put not so much as a doctor...but a pharmacist perhaps. He and his husband Tessai. Their children, Jinta and Ururu, help out around the shop, though Jinta has been known to come and give Ichigo a hand on the ranch now and again. (Their parents are friends)

Renji is a hired hand on the ranch. At first, he applies for the job because he is broke as hell and Ichigo is handsome, and let's face it Renji is not blind. He knows how to appreciate the fineness of Ichigo's body. But nothing comes of it, the romantic feelings he has quickly fizzle, and soon he's feeling more like Ichigo is the found family he always wanted instead. He was an orphan, living off of pennies.

Grimmjow is definitely an outlaw. Runs with some bandits. They wanna steal cattle and resell. And they are notorious. I think for this they could keep the title of Espada for their little gang. He is one of the loose cannons, though. Never know what he's going to do. Him, and his little sister, Nel. Nel and Grimm have been on their own from the beginning, and they only ever looked out for each other.

Until one night, they go after the Kurosaki ranch. And as they are stealing the cattle, Renji and Ichigo are chasing after them...and Nel falls from her horse. (or was she pushed...by Nnoitra?) Ichigo, even though they're enemies, won't let someone just get trampled in front of him. So he slows and he helps her up, and by that point the other Espada have left, and Grimmjow isn't aware his sister is missing yet...

Ichigo helps Nel to the ranch house. She's slightly injured, so they summon Isshin (not with any ritual though, they just send Renji to wake him up and bring him to the ranch). He comes and treats her.

Grimmjow is distraught over his sister being in the hands of the rancher. He is certain she's scared, certain they're being cruel to her. So of course the second he can, he rushes in, guns blazing, ready to kill and ready to save her. Only to find Nel giggling and hugging Ichigo and waving hello to her older brother.

After that...well, it's a steep learning curve but Grimmjow and Nel start to trust other people, get on the good side of Ichigo, and now they're friends. And Ichigo won't deny there is attraction to the tough-looking outlaw. And Grimmjow will stubbornly pretend he still hates him and is only there because of Nel and the fact that the head of the Espada will try to kill them when they find out Nel is now friends with Ichigo.

I think in this AU Orihime owns a bed and breakfast...where Uryu and Chad are the chefs. She inherited it from her brother when he passed away. But her cooking was so bad she almost had to close. Then Uryu and Chad showed up, an ultimate cooking duo, and she didn't have to close, she just switched to more of a hostess/bartender role. It's the favourite place in town for everyone to eat now, and Ichigo definitely treats Nel and Grimmjow to the food there.

Kenpachi is the sheriff. Strong, not concerned with politics at all, and very eager to fight anyone who disturbs the peace. Ikkaku is a member of law enforcement as well. And he's in love with the tailor; Yumichika, who makes the best dresses in the town. Nel definitely begs her brother for one, and he grumbles but then he starts helping out on the ranch and doing errands for the physician and pharmacist to make enough money to afford one. Ichigo may or may not secretly let slip to Yumichika about how they aren't well off and how much Nel admires the dresses and get them a discount, but that never gets around to Grimmjow (Ichigo and Yumichika are buddies and they totally have drinking nights where Yumichika just rants about how handsome Ikkaku is).

Some of the regulars at the bar (Hisagi, Izuru, Shinji) play instruments. They often play at Orihime's, which brings in more customers, and they get coins dropped in a little jar for them when the customers enjoy the music (they almost always love the music and the jar is never empty). Ichigo definitely drags Grimmjow out of his seat to dance when his favourite songs are played. And Grimmjow enjoys this, despite himself.

So those are my thoughts! What about you? What sort of things would you add? Any other characters? What happens with the stolen cattle? Do they ever get it back? Are the rest of the Espada caught? Do Grimmjow and Nel get pardoned for their past crimes or does the past catch up to them? How long does it take Ichigo and Grimmjow to fully realize they are in love? How do they confess to one another?

[yuzusorbet]

Continuing Kikuchi-sensei's book 'Strongly, beautifully,....'

[some parts are left out or summarised] 

Chapter 4 - Calm the heart, face the tension

4.1  Pain is energy source (main point: Yuzuru treats pain and pressure as a source of strength, and adversity as an opportunity for growth.)

4.2  Say out your dreams (main point: from a young age, Yuzuru has been very frank and tells the media exactly what he wants to achieve.  It is one way in which he pushes himself to achieve the dreams that he has spoken about.)

The above 2 aspects of Yuzu's character are well known to fans, so I won't translate these parts for now.  Will come back to them later.

But I summarise here another point in Part 4.1 because it will be mentioned in 4.3. (The original Japanese was like a biology lesson, haha) :  Yuzuru has a well-regulated autonomic nervous system.  This system has two parts: the sympathetic nervous system which is like the accelerator of a car, and the parasympathetic nervous system which is like the brakes of a car. These 2 parts are in very good balance in Yuzuru.   (t/n. In English, we often say one system is in charge of "fight or flight" and the other is for "rest and digest".)

4.3  A smile calms the heart/mind

Yuzuru is warm and friendly and has an incredible power to charm the people around him.  This is probably because that child expresses his feelings to everyone, no matter who the person is.  Especially when he makes a request with his lovable smiling face, you will end up thinking, "Ah~  there's no other way, I will do it."

Yuzuru smiles a lot.  Even during warming-up, when his condition is good, he is often smiling.  Before a competition, anyone would be nervous.  Moreover, performing in front of such a large number of people, it would be strange if one is not nervous.  In such a situation, perhaps Yuzuru naturally smiles to calm his heart and mind.

Speaking of this, 'Team Yuzuru' was united as one to give support to achieving Yuzuru's dream, I think this is deeply connected with Yuzuru's smile.  'Team Yuzuru'  refers to the coaches who support Yuzuru, the choreographers, the people of JSF, the staff who takes care of his meals, and I was also a part of this team.

I felt comfortable working in 'Team Yuzuru';  the atmosphere was very good. There was nothing of the sort where each member was just thinking "I, myself".  Of course, Yuzuru is the most important.  But everyone also paid attention to the needs of other staff.  At PyeongChang Olympics, when I was not feeling well, they were all concerned and asked me questions like "Sensei, are you taking enough nutrition?" and "Do you have a fever?"

I think that Yuzuru's smile is the backdrop of 'Team Yuzuru' being so well unified.  Smiling not only helps with your own autonomic nervous system, it also has the effect of relieving tension in the people around you and making the mood calm and peaceful.

Yuzuru before a performance has a very stern face, but once the performance is over, he is relieved and smiles.  His face is completely changed.

After the performance, he bows to thank the fans and he is bathed in the Pooh-shower.  At this time, in his autonomic nervous system, the "fight mode" sympathetic nervous system sits back, and the "relax mode" parasympathetic nervous system is activated.   I think the 'on' and 'off' switch for that is Yuzuru's smile.

(I love the above photo of part of 'Team Yuzuru' with beautiful smiles.  Photo credit: marked on pic, much thanks to the photographer.)

-------------

Important note: When you see my translation as 'heart/mind' and sometimes just 'heart', the original word in Japanese is 'kokoro' 「心」.  This is the kanji for 'heart' but it means "heart, mind, spirit, mentality, emotions, soul".  I found this article that explains a bit more: “Kokoro is well understood in Japanese, but difficult to explain in English,” says Yoshikawa Sakiko, director of Kyoto University’s Kokoro Research Center. Conceptually, it unites the notions of heart, mind, and spirit: It sees these three elements as being indivisible from one other. [.......] One of the problems of discussing kokoro in English is that by linking words—heart and spirit and mind—with “and,” we imply divisions that simply don’t exist in Japanese. But in this Eastern culture, the three aren’t intrinsically linked as one: They are one. https://qz.com/946438/kokoro-a-japanese-word-connecting-mind-body-and-spirit-is-also-driving-scientific-discovery/

------------

4.4  Feelings of gratitude calm the heart/mind

"Before a competition, I always do my best to tidy up my hotel room."  Yuzuru has said this before, at a press conference.

And for sure, on trips abroad, whenever I go to Yuzuru's room in the hotel,  I am impressed that it is always kept clean and tidy.  His luggage is also always neat. When going for a competition, he always makes his bed before leaving the room.

It has been said, that just keeping things tidy around you has an effect on regulating the balance of your autonomic nervous system.  It seems that a person who keeps his room and things in order is also good at keeping his heart/mind in order.

So in that way, some things that Yuzuru naturally does, is actually regulating his own heart/mind.

Skating with the support of many people---.  Yuzuru is very conscious of this, and so he never forgets to be grateful.

Even though he has accomplished so many great achievements, there is not a single bit of arrogance in his attitude towards others.  To me, after each treatment, "arigatou-gozaimashita" he always thanks me politely.  To his parents and to any staff too, words of thanks come naturally out  of his mouth. To the rink of course, but also when he leaves the warm-up area, he lowers his head to that space.  To his fans, his skate boots, his own legs.....  To everything, he holds feelings of gratitude.  And he says, "Thank you."

"Thank you", just saying these words, a neurotransmitter called dopamine is released in the brain.  This dopamine is also called the "happy hormone"  and the "hormone that creates the enthusiasm for living".   When a lot of dopamine is released, it gives positive energy and also raises the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system.

Translated by me from Akira Kikuchi-sensei's book https://www.amazon.co.jp/%E5%BC%B7%E%…  (please consider buying it to show support)

[scarletbluebird13]

Hi! Can I request some MK angst.

Hiya! You absolutely can! One thing tho, I didn’t know if you wanted a specific character or not, so I did a hc just to be safe :) Hope that was okay and that it’s to your liking! :

Without You

Kazuomi:

You were a flower. The most graceful thing he’d ever come across

Everything literally dulled around you

He loved your passion, wit, and sharp tongue.

You were the only one who’d ever really challenged him and didn’t succumb to his charisma.

Maybe he liked the chase

Or maybe it was you he liked - maybe it wasn’t the chase

Was it the way you made him feel?

The way your hair’d fall elegantly, perfectly, gracefully down your back with no effort?

Was it how you never gave him a moment’s peace?

Whatever it was, you were all he could think about

Had the situation been different - one little thing changed -

If he’d been the one to offer you a ride to Raven Resort, maybe none of you’d be in this situation.

But that didn’t happen.

And he knew even if he’d offer to pick you up and bring you to the resort, you’d probably swat his hand away and give him another tough time.

Maybe - if he’d just opened his mouth that one night and told you how he felt, he’d be able to give you the roses and see your smile - that is, if Arisa Mifune could smile.

Either way, he wouldn’t be putting the roses here.

Laying them atop your headstone, that is.

They say it was an accident - you were on your way to the resort like Kazuomi’d asked you,

...but you never made it.

A robbery, they called it.

But it wasn’t true and he knew it.

You could take on any man four times your size, but you were still gone.

This was no normal robbery.

This was something much larger, and he knew it.

But he couldn’t do anything about it.

Ever since he heard about your death, he stopped functioning.

He tried to find comfort in the resorts he built - where you felt needed, where you felt like you belonged and weren’t alone.

But that didn’t work.

Yuzuru and Kei tried to cheer him up, but he was a broken man.

No amount of whiskey could fill him -

Hell, he lacked the energy to talk to other people.

His charisma dulled, and every woman who threw herself at him - he was repulsed to look at.

They weren’t you.

Then again

He believed he would have you if he’d been a man and admitted how he felt about you earlier.

But for now and probably for the rest of his painful life, he’d live solely to regret not being there for you. He really believes it was his fault.

Yuzuru

You two were the happiest people in the world

Kazuomi and Kei’d always make little jabs at you two here and there

Occasionally Victoria would say something to make you blush - even if it was reminding you you had access to Yuzu’s room (plus his special one), or reading Yuzu’s temperature out loud whenever things got steamy.

You were the only one who was capable of making the ringing in his ears stop.

He was at peace with you

And the woman you’d revealed yourself to be - not just the real you, the woman you’d grown to become as well - he found, was never meant to be his in the first place.

You were hanging around with Yuzuru as usual.

Wondering about the latest bit of tech he was perfecting.

When there was an unfortunate accident.

You were tagging along slightly behind Yuzuru, asking him a bunch of questions - ones you’ve already asked, but wanted to ask again just to annoy him a bit

“What’s the new techy thing you’re working on again, Yuzuru?”

“When’s it gonna be released?”

“How does it work?”

“Who is it meant for?”

“Can I help?”

He didn’t mind the questions

He thought they were cute - even if it was the hundred-millionth time you’d asked

Plus he chose to see it as you taking an interest in his work ...not just you actively deciding to annoy him

On one of these days, however - one of the rare days you’d followed him to work

A flood light fell.

They were working on the ceiling, and one of the workers shifted a certain way

Accidentally knocking a heavy, steel flood light off the ladder it was resting on.

It hit you on the head.

When Yuzuru heard the BAM and your cry - he turned around like no one’s business

He was all over you in a millisecond.

Your robotic boyfriend was full of concern - petrified for you.

You were lucky you didn’t black out

Or, for that matter, that all there was to prove the incident ever happened, was a red bruise forming on the top of your head, under your hair.

That and, at the moment, throbbing pain.

It hurt so bad and you were in so much shock you didn’t speak.

You tried not to cry

But you did - and they were silent tears.

Alarmed, Yuzuru took you to the ER.

After a while, the doctors said you were fine - even taking a CAT scan just to be safe.

At first, you seemed to be normal. So they let you go.

Still, Yuzuru was so very concerned about you.

He insisted on staying around you 24/7

But you insisted you were fine.

Unfortunately, that bright smile you gave him on that last day was the last time you knew who he was.  

In less than three days since the accident, Yuzuru noticed a change in you.

You were different

But he didn’t know exactly how you were different, he just knew.

One evening, you stumbled upon the door in his living room - the one with the picture of his family when he was younger - and you said something.

“Hey, what’s this?”

That’s when his worst fears were realized.

Something definitely happened. And you most certainly were not okay or “fine.”

He took you to a neurologist

They did an MRI scan and an EEG scan.

That’s when they found the problem.

Your amygdala was damaged.

It controlled your memories, personality, and judgement calls.

He knew you weren’t the same

He paid for the best doctors his money could buy - the best in the country

You had a surgery to help repair your amygdala

But your chances weren’t very good -

The doctors explained that to him a thousand times over

When you woke up, Yuzuru Shiba had been wiped from your memory.

Your memories, your secret promises -- gone.

That fast, someone Yuzuru cared about so much, was gone.

So he did what he thought was best and let you go

Of course, he only did this after a year of caring for you and trying to get you to remember him -

But someone else caught your eye.

And he had to let you go.

He decided he’d remember your time together - for the both of you.

He’d never see that dazzling smile aimed towards him ever again.

Your smile, laugh, relentless questions, and heart all belonged to someone else now.

Kei

He’s never known how to communicate his emotions.

It’s just something he’s always struggled with.

He liked you, he really did

He was just too conflicted on how to show it.

He thought pain and bondage were the best way to show he cared for you

But he just didn’t understand

That you’d never get the hint if he continued that way of expressing himself.

Had you tried to understand the eccentric Kei?

Yes. Yes, you have.

You’d tried communicating with him for over six months and trying to explain what you felt towards him

But he just…only knew how to communicate his feelings of affection for you by causing you pain and bondage.

He thought if he let you catch him with another woman in bed, the pain would be so much for you, you’d be bound to understand his overwhelming love for you

But it didn’t necessarily go as planned.

When you saw him in bed with her, you were done.

You packed your bags and left.

A few months later, Kei spotted you at a café with some guy

You made eye contact with Kei, standing there across the street, head tilted to the side, silently observing you two

And you moved closer to the gentleman you were sitting with - unbeknownst to Kei, he was a target.

You placed a gentle finger on the man’s arm, and directed all your attention towards him.

Kei, ignorant to the fact the man you were sitting with was your target, decided to let you be.

If you were happier with someone else, then so be it.  

Boss

He should have never sent you on that mission.

The one that’d be your last.

There is no “worst part” for him.

Every second he lived out while you were in this state was hell to him.

You two were lovers.

Finally, after god knows how many years of you crushing on him and him secretly side-eyeing you.

He finally had you -

And he was happy

When it lasted, of course

But god, or whoever runs the universe - he’s lost all faith in anything - is a sadistic son of a bitch.

But he knew he couldn’t blame something on this like the universe

No

It was his own fault

For sending you on that mission

He knew it was dangerous

And he told you so

But you wanted to do the mission anyway

And he assigned the mission to you, trusting only you - since you were his number one agent

His protégé.

Now you were also the only thing he could think about

Night and day.

Tormented by the smile he knew he’d never see again.

That laugh he’d never hear.

The feeling of his arms around you.

None of it.

He’d lost it.

Forever.

Rather, he believed he threw it away.

Something went wrong during the mission, and what’s worse, you weren’t even dead.

You were still alive.

But you had to live out your days in a coma.

Practically brain dead.

The doctors said it wasn't good.

That your chances were slim to none

But he still visited you every day.

Held your hand

Played with your hair.

Before, he brought Hugo to do your hair and make up for your anniversary.

But Hugo just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Since then, it’s been him, the nurses, and doctors walking in and out of your room.

He visited you not only because he loved you or he felt guilty, rather,

He believed he had to have hope that you’d wake up.

That one day your eyes would open, you’d groan and this horrible, terrible nightmare would cease to exist.

He had to believe it.

It’s what happened in movies, right?

He had to believe you’d wake up.

He just had to.

Afterall, you’d wake up.

...right?